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Alabama Grabass Association
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Below are the 19 most recent journal entries recorded in Alabama Grab Ass' LiveJournal:

Tuesday, April 1st, 2008
10:25 am
Wednesday, July 12th, 2006
10:22 am
hot new grabass move

Current Mood: impressed
Tuesday, February 7th, 2006
1:38 am
Two great moments in Grabass history.....
1. I've perfected a move and executed it this past Friday. It was then named by the one, the only.....the moustache wearing tampsteve. It's called "The Follow-Up" and here's how you do it. When you first see someone whether it be at a party, in public or just coming home from work, you go to hug them and grab their ass. While they are still shocked from the first ass grab and walking away from you, you get them for the second time, shocking them with "The Follow-Up." Thanks, Dama for being the first subjected to that move, and thanks Steve for naming it.

2. Never take a picture of you grabbing my ass....but I will get you back....

Revenge is sweet....Collapse )
Monday, November 28th, 2005
11:52 am
The Catch of the Day or The One That Got Away
The Catch of the Day: go in for an underhanded ass-grab, using your thumb, index finger and middle finger in a pinching fashion (*think Crack Pinch 2-Point*). upon grabbing the ass, release the cheeks while you tighten your grip on the pants of your victim. proceed to reel in the victim by the pants.

The One That Got Away: sometimes when you attempt "The Catch of the Day", the victim is able to pull away before you are able to reel them in. whether it's because of pants that are too tight to get a decent grip or simply the victim's tenacity to not be caught, you wind up with "The One That Got Away".
Tuesday, November 8th, 2005
7:42 pm
"The Ultimatum"


Steps to "The Ultimatum", respectively:
1. Wear mesh underwear, or a thong perhaps. *WARNING* the thong and/or/ g-string has yet to be attempted. we are not responsible for any excessive grabassing.

2. Find an unsuspecting drunkard in high spirits.

3. Present their ultimatum: "Grab or be shown."

4. After several seconds, proceed with the underside of your ultimatum. (pun intended)

***this technique has been very successful since the victim is actually opening the window for grabass.  try it out. =)

Current Mood: chipper
4:34 pm

Brett Favre is ready to grab that ass!!!

"When I don't have a ball in my hands, there's nothing I like more than delivering a Two-Cylinder or mean Full-Frontal. Hell, there ain't nothing like some Alabama Grabass to keep your spirits up when your team is 1-7 for the year." -- Brett Favre
Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
1:36 pm
Rusty took this picture....
and told me to tell everyone at the Plaza Friday night to beware of the Pinchers of Power!

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Sunday, July 3rd, 2005
6:13 pm
12:09 pm


Obviously before one can be towed, "the boot" must be attempted at least once prior to towing.

Note that Dunkee is demanding payment before the removal of the boot, but unfortunately Mrs. Bone Brown has nothing to give.

Dunkee D therefore is forced to place his hands in Mrs. Bone Brown's pack pockets and pull her away as if towing to the grabass yard.

Friday, July 1st, 2005
9:59 am
Calling pole_based out on front street
I do remember, in my martini induced state, that you had several new AGA moves that had not yet been posted to the world. I guess it takes calling you out on livejournal to get that shit posted!
Wednesday, April 27th, 2005
6:22 pm
The whoopee cushion
This move is best done on a couch or other multi-seating area. you place your hand, palm-up, on a seat right as someone is about to sit down. when you've got your handful, make a fart noise with your mouth. voila. you've now done the whoopee cushion. tasteful, with a twist.
Saturday, April 9th, 2005
12:16 am
so i've been initiated into grabass, but can anybody let me in on the face shaking joke? saw it in a picture on jon and lauren's journal, and i just noticed it in the interests list. game on!
Monday, April 4th, 2005
11:24 pm
The Accidental Tourist
With a non-initiate, you "accidentally" perform any previously mentioned grabass move (not too severe) and then attempt to make it look like a mistake.
4:54 pm
for the record...
i need to let it be known that i inducted none other than ol' lynda-loo (jon's mom) into the halls of alabama grabass last night! GAME ON!!!

Current Mood: pleased
Friday, March 25th, 2005
4:31 pm
A word from momma grabass, Assbassador for the State of Florida
Gentle Reader,

It came to my attention at last Saturday night's party that some initiates of the grabass way of life took it upon themselves to interpret our beloved grabass moves into something quite sexual. One specific instance comes to mind when a drunken girl grabbed a guy's ass and did the ever so obvious reach around (back to front) to get herself a hand full of C & B. While the gentleman who was grabbed took no offense, the action gave way to concern on my part that Alabama Grabass may be misinterpreted by some as a blatantly sexual attempt to "feel someone up". Let me reassure you that a genuine Alabama Grabass participant leaves behind no sexual impression in the wake of your returning hand. Alabama Grabass, in its purest form, should give the grabee a feeling of joyfulness, as their ass has just been specificially chosen to be part of a carefully chosen move. Who wouldn't want some of that?
Y'all don't be taint'in up Grabass, unless the taint is specifically involved. Ya hear?

Yours truly,
Momma Grabass

Current Mood: amused
Monday, March 21st, 2005
12:02 pm
The latest and greatest move.

Ladies and Gentlemen....I am proud to announce the arrival of............The Water Sprinkler

  1. Approach your victim's buttocks from the REAR utilizing a low, crouched position.
  2. Begin at the left edge of the left butt cheek, apply 4 total grabs, two per butt cheek, in a left to right motion.  Upon each grab, you must make a "tst" sound similar to a sprinkler.  Remember that the sound effects are the most crucial part of this move.
  3. When you reach the right edge of the right butt cheek, you have reached the end of the sprinkler's range.  The sprinkler must now rewind itself and reset.  This involves placing both hands on the buttocks (one on each cheek) and making the rapid-fire "t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t" sound associated with a sprinkler.
  4. Repeat and enjoy as many times as possible.


Game ON!

Current Mood: grabilicious
Sunday, March 6th, 2005
2:09 pm
dudes! you left "alabama" off the list of keywords. first of all that's just wrong on general principle. secondly, anybody searching interests for "alabama" for whatever reason can learn about it!
Friday, March 4th, 2005
9:54 am
Grabass Maneuvers, 1st Installment
The Traditional: just grab a handful of ass! it's that easy!

The Taint Poke: when a helpless victim is bending over in your general direction, jamb 1-3 fingers into the sacred space that is neither balls nor ass.

The Crack Pinch 2-point: use the thumb and index finger to pinch 'em where the good lawd split 'em.

The Gentle Claw: palm is face up with fingers extended in a claw position, which is then placed delicately on the bottom. watch out, sometimes you can grab a little more than you bargained for!

The Crippler Cross-Ass: come up behind or in front of your victim - grab their ass and pull their cheeks apart! (NOTE - The Crippler Cross-Ass is best used as a combo, with a second person coming in with a Gentle Claw or Crack Pinch 2-point).

The Two-Cylinder: step one: grab two hands full of ass. step two: shake vigorously while saying "VRRRROOOOOOOM!" loudly in the victim's ear. (NOTE - this has quickly become the most fun and popular of all the moves)

The Alabama Chainsaw Ass Massacre: the hand is made into a blade and slid from bottom to top up the victim's ass while making a loud chainsaw noise.

The Shark: hand is made into a blade like the Alabama Chainsaw Ass Massacre, but it is a side to side slap on the cheeks, followed immediately by an up to down slice of the ass.

The Litterbox: a feverish scratching of the victim's buttcheeks.

The Windmill: swing your arm in a circle as fast as you can to gain momentum. at the precise moment that maximum acceleration is acheived, allow the open palm to make contact with the victim's ass. this is the most painful move in the entire grabass catalogue - sure to leave a lasting impression!

The Orangutang: swing your arms down low and allow the backs of your hands to contact each of the victim's asscheeks, one after the other. after contact is made, proceed to run away with your arms swinging above your head while making monkey sounds.

The Dick Buttkiss: in close quarters, say excuse me to the victim and walk behind them while brushing their buttcheeks with the index and middle fingers, leading them to belive that they have been brushed with a giant erection.

The Secret Lips: walk up to the victim and gesture for them to give you a kiss on the cheek. when they go in for the kiss, turn and kiss them on the mouth, and then grab them on the ass!

The Thinking Man: squat down behind the victim and assume the position of Rodin's famous sculpture, The Thinker (Le Penseur). from that position, pinch the victim's ass, and immediately stare off into the distance as if lost in thought. important: DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH THE VICTIM.

The Full-Frontal: approach the victim's front-side and forcefully grab their ass with both hands, reach-around style, while looking them straight in the eye.

The Blank Stare: gently place your hand on an unsuspecting victims buttcheek, and when they turn to look at you, stare at them blankly, showing no emotion, while keeping the gentle palm in contact with the buttock.

The Dumb Waiter: while at a party, ask the victim to hold your drink for a minute for whatever reason (if you choose to give them a reason at all). after they accept your drink, walk away and then sneak back up on the victim and grab their ass! a four-star move!

The Boot: clamp your hand onto the victim's ass and do not remove it. when the victim asks what you are doing or looks at you funny, proceed to tell them that they have been booted and need to pay up. any payment is acceptable, whether it be some loose change from their pocket or a sip from their drink.

The Two-Timer: choose two victims and grab their asses at the same time, one cheek in each hand.
Friday, February 18th, 2005
1:41 pm
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